Threat Level Midnight

Michael: After three years of writing, one year of shooting, four years of re-shooting and two years of editing, I have finally completed my movie, Threat Level: Midnight.

Michael: Erin... what are you doing?

Erin: Guys! Guys. Did you guys know that our own Michael Scott has made a movie, and that he maybe will let us watch it, but only if everybody's dying to see it.

Michael: That's... That's. Well, don't put words in my mouth.

Jim: Threat Level: Midnight is the great lost film of Michael Scott.

Pam: We're all in it, from like years and years ago. It's like a home movie.

Jim: Yeah, if Michael Scott did your home movie!

Pam: Michael screened a work in progress for us, years ago, and it didn't go well. We thought it was a comedy. Everything pointed to it being a comedy.

Pam: We'd love to see it!

Michael: Sweet, I will go invite Holly.

Pam: Okay everyone, I know we're really excited to see this movie that everybody's in, but we have to remember that Michael is sensitive, so let's stay positive! And no laughing, no comments, just positive energy and we'll have a pure fun day! Okay?

Creed: Thanks mom.

Holly: You never told me you made a movie.

Michael: Mhmm! It's got action, it's got heart, it's got some bosom.

Holly: It's got you.

Michael: It's got a lot of me.

Holly: I can't wait.

Michael: Ladies and gentleman, Threat Level: Midnight.

Dwight: I play Samuel, Michael Scarn's robot butler. I wanted Samuel's voice- to be like this! But Michael thought that Samuel should be a very advance android, almost indistinguishable from a real person.

Michael: Dwight does not play a robot.

Darryl: I gave up a lot of weekends because I thought it'd be good for my daughter to see a black man as president. Even in a silly home movie. What a stupid waste of time.

Jim: I did not love the dialogue. Or the character. I took the role to impress a receptionist who will remain nameless.

Dwight: He cut the part where my circuit board malfunctioned! What was the point of spilling the drink on me?

Jan: He finished his movie? No kidding. Wow, that's great. Yeah that's good for him.

Michael: By far and away, the most expensive shot in the movie. But, it was integral to the story.

Michael: That was not scripted.

Karen: Why are you singling my line out, like, a million years later?

Jim: Sorry.

Jim: I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry. I think I was just relieved, to see that Michael Scarn got his confidence back.

Kelly: Yeah Michael the movie is amazing!

Kevin: It's like one of the best movies I've ever seen in my life.

Ryan: You should enter it in festivals!

Kevin: Or carnivals!

Michael: Well that's a... pretty good reaction. Pretty cool, right? Did you like it? Did you like that?

Holly: Uh... which part?

Michael: Okay. No, it's not good enough. It's not good enough...

Andy: Some people are really popping on screen!

Michael: Hey.

Holly: Hey! Good movie.

Michael: Mmmm, good? Everybody out there says it's great!

Holly: I loved it.

Michael: Did you? What did you love about it?

Holly: Uhm, I loved that you got to work together with all your friends. Isn't that great when you can all work together like that?

Michael: No, no. Holly, this isn't Ocean's Eleven, where you get together with all your friends and just have fun and don't care about how it turns out. What'd you really think, honestly.

Holly: Uhm...

Michael: Is it, is it because you're afraid of where this is gonna take me? See, because I need you... to keep me grounded.

Holly: Not worried about that.

Michael: It was eleven years, okay? This has been my dream for eleven years, and if you don't think it's great than you're basically saying that you don't believe in my dream.

Holly: Wha- It's your dream and you never even mentioned it before!

Michael: I talk about a lot of things, Holly! I was eventually gonna get around to my dream! Obviously! Eleven years I could've been working on the Scarn Nebulus.

Holly: Well why do you have to make a movie at all?

Michael: Because, if I don't have this, what do I have? I have nothing.

Holly: Really, you can't think of anything else that you might have?

Michael: I have my book on business, Somehow I Manage. I have my HBO comedy special, Here I Go Again dot-dot-dot. But you know what? When I think about it, when I really think about it, none of those things are as real to me as my movie.

Holly: I'm real.

Michael: Yeah, you're a real pain in the ass. And I'm gonna go watch the movie with people who think it's great! And I'm sorry I called you a pain in the ass, I'm angry, and I love you.

Holly: I love you too.

Michael: I am a huge Woody Allen fan. Although I've only seen Antz, but I'll tell you something. What I respect about that man, is that when he was going through all that stuff that came out in the press, about how Antz was just a rip-off of A Bug's Life, he stayed true to his films. Or at least the film that I saw which again was Antz. The thing is... I thought Bug's Life was better, much better. Than Ants. The point is, don't listen to your critics, listen to your fans.

Michael: Who likes Threat Level: Midnight? Okay then who wants to watch the rest?!

Michael: We filmed this during an actual Scranton High School Hockey Game, trying to qualify for states.

Jim: That's fine, it's great!

Michael: No, no! Actually it's really screwed up because they, they were trying to qualify, they were disqualified, they had to forfeit the game. Undefeated season. That's why there were so many people there.

Michael: Hey...

Holly: Hey, I'm sorry. It is good.

Michael: No it's not. It's not. But, they really seem to be enjoying it.

Michael: Oh yeah, I guess I did let him be a robot.

Andy: Whoa Whoa Whoa! Isn't the president evil?

Michael: Oh yeah! Yes he is!

Dwight: No no, he's doing it to catch the president!

Michael: No, no Dwight. He's just being stupid.