If you're unhappy with your compensation, maybe you should take it up with HR. OK. Not today, OK? Pa...

I think I'm a role model here. I think I garner people's respect. Attention all Dunder Mifflin emplo...

People I respect, heroes of mine, would be Bob Hope... Abraham Lincoln, definitely. Bono. And probably God would be the fourth one. And I just think all those people really helped the world in so many ways that it's really beyond words. It's really incalculable.

Now I know there's some rumors out there and I just kind of want to set the record straight.

I'm Assistant Regional Manager. I should know first.